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  • Writer's pictureSarahHauer

The Sound of Silence


Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence


- Simon and Garfunkel The Sound of Silence


Sarah, why did you start a blog post off with a song quote like this one? Depressing!


Yes, it is.


I have been quite silent this late fall and winter so far. I can give you a partial explanation. Not a full one. Not yet.


Things have been happening in my life. 2021 was quite the rollercoaster. I am believing 2022 will be better. There are good things on the near horizon.


One thing that happened is my lupus popped out of remission. That's not as terrible as it first sounds. I had an infection at the time. Pretty sure that's what did it. The infection was easily taken care of. The lupus seems to be keeping itself in check. My doctor believes it will pop back into remission without needing to go back on major meds. In fact, he even decreased my main medication. I am having an uptick in symptoms, but nothing major. Just enough to make me take a step back from things.


The next novel has gone through so many restarts, I don't even know where I am anymore with it. I am working with a life coach. Working with him, I decided to take a step back from the novel while the weather and lupus were a problem. Weather is better again. I do suspect the doctor is right and the lupus will go back to sleep soon. I'm doing too well to think otherwise.


That doesn't mean I stopped writing. I unexpectedly wrote a children's book under my married name. My novels are written under my maiden name. Whatever name I use helps put me in the correct mindset.


I haven't written a children's book since I was a kid. This one came out of the blue unexpectedly. I got it out just in time for Christmas. It's called Theia, The Dragon Who Lived on the Moon. It's on Amazon if you wish to check it out. https://www.amazon.com/Theia-Dragon-Who-Lived-Moon/dp/B09M4R6R9P


I have also written a couple of poems. Surprised myself with those. The creative juices are still there.


Other aspects of life have been quite the ride. Good things and bad things. A whole damn rollercoaster. These things are interrupting my ability to write this novel. They should be good fodder for a story. Some day, maybe, they will be. Not today.


I've been working on myself personally for about a year and a half now. I am so glad I have been doing that. If I hadn't, the latest negative events would bury me. I am not buried. Quite the opposite. I am seeing lights at the end of tunnels. I just have to get to them.


Last year, a friend gave herself a word for the year for her to work towards. She inspired me to do the same. My word last year was perseverance. It worked! I got Power of Ketchup and Theia both done last year.


This year, I thought my word was going to be focus. However, Brene Brown in her new book Atlas of the Heart introduced me to a word I never really understood before. Equanimity. I have spent the past few days learning the true meaning of that word. I have changed my word. My 2022 word of the year is equanimity.


What does it mean? I thought it was the same as detachment, not caring what happens, etc. Those aren't really the true definitions. It means understanding that things are ultimately out of your control, and those things that happen may be good, or they may be bad. You don't really know at the time. The ripple effect has to take place first. That ripple effect leads to other things happening you cannot control that may be good or may be bad. More ripple effects. Equanimity doesn't mean you don't care. It means you ride the waves of the ripple effects understanding you can only control how you react to those things. And that is all you can do. Therefore, you can be at peace because they are beyond your control anyway.


It's the concept of how worry doesn't help a situation at all, so why worry? Don't. You can't just not worry, right?


Saint Francis of Assisi was great at equanimity. He cared. He loved. He kept things in perspective by responding with loving peace to things that happened to the people around him. No, I am no saint. Not even close. But I can certainly learn from him.


Meditation is often about searching for equanimity and perspective. Prayer. Silence. Peace.


It's a complicated concept, one I don't know if I am capable of fully attaining in my own life. But I am going to meditate and pray on it all year and see what happens.


Thank you for being patient with me. I am good. Creating is happening. I am just taking forever and have other things I need to accomplish as well as peacefully as possible.


Do you have a word or goal for your year?


Shoot me an email at humorinchaos@gmail.com.


Thanks for reading!


Sarah


Follow me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter @ Humor in Chaos


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