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  • Writer's pictureSarahHauer

How Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

"A complex disposition can create sensations of angst in an individual seeking to cultivate a charismatic personality within oneself."

Huh? What does that mean?

Absolutely nothing. I literally just looked up synonyms for the word "personality," read them, and threw together a nonsensical sentence that vaguely references self growth from the list provided. That sentence means nothing.

Have a chuckle, scratch your head, and then continue to read.

I've been doing a great deal of personal growth. Some of it has been fun. Some of it has been painful. Some of it has been confusing. Some of it has been amazing. Some of it has been pointless. Hence, the beginning sentence.

Today, I am referencing personality tests. Have you taken one? Have you taken more than one to see if they line up? Have you taken the same one more than once to see if there are changes in you over time?

If you've never taken one, I suggest it. It can be quite the eye-opening experience.

I recently did the DISC profile. I discovered I am a strong S with some I. I'm a completer. I am a processor. My word is "advocate." It was helpful learning about my own communication style and tips to learn the profiles of the people around me. I hope it aids in future communications.

I also took the Myers-Briggs a few months ago. I don't remember how I came out on that one. I've heard about the enneagram, but have not tried it. If you google personality tests, there are a lot of them.

Personality tests can be a useful tool in furthering all kinds of different types of relationships. However, they have to be taken with a grain of salt. Accuracy can be called into question. Bias can be an issue. Plus, people do change with circumstances. Traumas, major life changes, etc. can cause a person to tilt for a time. If you are learning about attachment styles - secure, avoidant, fearful, or dismissive - throw one of those into that fire, and you've got the potential for fascinating self-reflective conversations. And some good gossip.

I have developed my own personality test from my own less than scientific observations i.e. my daily walks. I call it the How Did the Chicken Cross the Road Personality Test. Allow me to reiterate that it is highly (un)scientific.

My observations have led me to conclude that there are four main observable personality types in pedestrians attempting to utilize the crosswalk button at any given major intersection where a light is installed. What society expects to happen is a pedestrian approaches the intersection, sees the button that is intended to provide a safe crossing environment, the pedestrian pushes the button, waits or the light to change indicating it is safe for them to cross, and finally the actual crossing of the road occurs hopefully without any major incident.

Now that I have explained how a crosswalk works, here are the observable personality types.

The Average Chicken: The first and most common observable pedestrian is the Average Chicken Who Crossed the Road. This person approaches the intersection with all the faith in the world believing that simply pushing the button should elicit the correct response from the crossing light when the time and circumstances are correct. This person understands that every direction of vehicles and pedestrians are given their fair turn to cross. They simply push the button once, possibly twice for good measure, and wait until the light indicates it is safe for them to cross. Then, they simply cross the road being careful to observe any vehicles that may be endangering them by breaking the expected crosswalk societal rules.

The Impatient Chicken: The second observable pedestrian is the Impatient Chicken Who is in a Hurry to Cross the Road. This person sees the Average Chicken is there patiently waiting; therefore, it is safe to assume the button has been pushed. All that is needed is to simply wait their turn as well. However, the narcissistic tendency of this personality simply cannot leave things as they are. They falsely believe their time is more valuable than anyone else's, and they believe they have the "magic touch" to get the job done faster. They breeze by the Average Chicken and make a bee line straight for the button with the intention of hitting it in rapid-fire succession until one of two things happen. Either the button actually changes to walk leaving them with the false bravado that they have saved the world, or they finally give up yet smile in satisfaction falsely believing they have made a significant contribution to the enhanced timing of the light turning in their favor.

The Oblivious Chicken: The third observable pedestrian personality type attempting to cross the road is the Oblivious Chicken Who Fails to Recognize the Situation at Hand. This person approaches the intersection, already cluttered with other people waiting to cross the road, but does not notice them. They walk directly to the button, push it, shift their eyes back and forth as they step back to wait, and then proceed to look at their phone or other device instead of watching for the change in the light. They should have realized the button has already been pushed, especially given how the Impatient Chicken personality type is hovering around it, but they fail to take notice of the others because they are so intent on their own individual experience.

There is an extra element of danger for this personality type. If they are too engrossed in their phone or other electronic device, they can find they have aggravated the other personality types by their inability to pay attention and walk a straight line. Others are not happy giving them extra room to walk in the already limited space. Because of this, they could be at risk of getting nudged into nearby moving vehicular traffic, in particular from the Impatient or Judgmental Chicken personality types.

Another potential issue for them is if they are so engrossed in their electronic devices, they might not notice the light changed at all. Either they finally comprehend others have moved on and they race to catch up, or they realize it too late necessitating for them to push the button again and wait for another cycle to come back around to them. Sometimes, a kind Average Chicken will come to their aid if need be.

The Judgmental Chicken: The fourth and last observable personality trait at a crosswalk is the Judgmental Chicken Who Rolls Their Eyes at the Others. This pompous ass person typically doesn't bother to push the button at all if others are already standing there. They remain towards the back of the crowd where they can roll their eyes and pass silent judgment on how others behave at the intersection. (This is me, by the way. Otherwise, I wouldn't have written this.)

The Judgmental Chicken also has an increased element of danger from embarrassment should they approach an intersection with only one other person and not bother to push the button themselves because they assume the button has already been pushed. (We've all heard why it is bad to assume anything.) Total embarrassment may ensue should both pedestrians discover the hard way that a faux pas has occurred.

Should you decide you wish to take the How Did the Chicken Cross the Road Personality Test, it is easy to do. Simply approach a major intersection with a crosswalk light and observe your own behavior. You might learn something.

If you do, please share why you decided to cross the road.

Shoot me an email at

Thanks for reading!


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