Today is my birthday. I am 51. Truthfully. I quit lying about my age a while ago.
Last year was a big one. Not the biggest for me. My biggest was 30. I got depressed when I turned 30 because I hadn't accomplished much of anything I wanted done by the time I hit 30 except start a family. I had two of my three kids by then.
Anyway, I get depressed because in reality I was angry at myself. I had no idea I was so ill yet even though I had had been extremely ill during my pregnancies. I thought that was just my body not liking pregnancy. I didn't know yet that my immune system hated me. So, I hadn't done much in my 20s. I wasted valuable time.
Anyway, turning 30 spurred me on. I started doing things. I went on an archeological dig, I graduated from college, I traveled to China and adopted my third and only daughter, toured the Grand Canyon by helicopter and boat, and a number of other things.
Then, I turned 40. Less depression. No anger. I had done much, the big stuff, and had plans to do more. I was looking forward to exciting things!
Then I got really sick. I spent my 40s mostly in bed, in hospital, recovering from this, that and other thing, and so on. My 40s sucked through no fault of my own.
Thank God for my anger at myself when I turned 30. While healing throughout my 40s, I had a great deal of life to look back on and be grateful. My 40s were not a waste. I did write my first two books.
Unexpectedly, as I turned 50, I got better. This whole previous year 50 to 51, I haven't been sure how to feel about this upcoming decade. Logic says I should jump right back onto that bucket list and get at it.
Except, my bucket list priorities have changed. All my kids have lives of their own. Travel, while still very enjoyable, doesn't hold the adventure pull for me as a day watching my grandkids learn a new skill. Watching those wheels turn in their heads offers more excitement than a hammock on a beach somewhere. I have more fun sitting around the dining room table playing cards half the night than sitting at a card table in a casino in Vegas.
Today, on my birthday, I had a birthday breakfast with my daughter, talked to my mother on the phone, fielded messages from friends, took a nap, went shopping, and now I am out for drinks before I go home to have dinner. My family birthday dinner is set for Friday. This makes me so happy!
To top it off, I wrote another book while I was 50, and I know I am not done.
You see, my priority in my bucket list is to touch people, to build connection, improve my relationships, grow myself, and make other people smile even if only for a moment. That's what I want to do during my 50s.
Who knows? Maybe in my 60s, I'll start jumping out of airplanes or something.
What does your bucket list look like? Share it with me at Humorinchaos@gmail.com.
Thanks for reading!
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