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  • Writer's pictureSarahHauer

Comin' Out of the Woodwork

I was contacted by a dear friend I haven't seen in way too long. She has asked me to come visit her in her new place. I didn't even know she had moved. I am excited for this upcoming visit!

I don't know about you, but I did some changing during the lockdown. So much changing, that when we resumed in-church services, people didn't recognize me. And I had difficulty recognizing all of them. Did that much happen in one year time?

Yes, I think it did. I look remarkably different. My hair is a different color and style. I dress differently. Hell, I walk differently. I'm feeling braver than I have in years. I enjoy little things more than before too. The hummingbird that just flew past me this very moment in my own front yard is as wonderful to me as the view of the ocean from Santa Cruz Island. Why? I don't know why. It just is.

I have been reconnecting with old friends, mostly via internet, and I've been getting out meeting new people. It's been rewarding.

I feel better. I look better. I am better.

What happened? I think the pandemic gave me an edge most people don't have. I was already locked up in my house. When the lockdown started, I was an expert at filling in the mundane of the four walls. Most people didn't know what to do with their time when they couldn't work, couldn't go out to socialize, couldn't even go get their groceries.

I had years of experience under my belt how to navigate the world of "don't touch me, I don't want to get sick." It's a skill now all of us share. Those of us with chronic diseases and immune system issues got to see the playing field leveled for us. Healthy people got a glimpse of life from the inside of your own head where home becomes a prison. Any little break from those prison walls become a vacation all their own.

Maybe during your own incarceration, you learned you didn't like yourself as much as you thought you did. Maybe you were able to find that hidden passion within you buried so long ago as a kid when an adult in your life told you dreaming was stupid. Maybe you love being home because you simply liked the escape from your boss. Maybe your depression you already had sank you so low you were able to find the courage to get the help you needed. Maybe, you are still in it. Maybe your life took a gigantic tumble and you still have yet to find the way out. Whatever the situation, you changed.

No one is coming out of this unchanged. Slowly. Bit by bit. Know what? We are all going to go through another change as we re-encounter each other again and ask, "Is that you?" followed by, "Is that me?"

I am excited we all get to come out from the shadows together.

If you have a question or comment, send me an email at

Thanks for reading!



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